I had a real thing for the No Fear T-shirts of the 90s. I remember picking out my favorite for picture day in seventh grade thinking I looked slightly edgy, but you know, in a motivational kind of way. That’s a thing, right? Maybe it was in the 90s.
The slogan on the back said something about having “no regrets” in a font that looked like it was being engulfed in flames. I picked that shirt for picture day because even at twelve I really couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of living with regret. It seemed so pointless. Why define your life by something you can’t change?
I’d like to think I’ve gained some maturity since the early 90s, though maybe not enough. I still think I’d look slightly edgy in that long gone t-shirt. I now understand why someone might have regret when they reflect on an action or decision, but I still think we allow our own past far too much influence over our present and future.
There are absolutely choices I wouldn’t make today, but those choices led me to where I am. I love the “me” I’ve created from that past. Regretting those decisions feels disrespectful to past Monica who was doing the best she could with the tools she had. It also feels like regret would rob me of the opportunity to learn from those instances. Without all that learning we come full circle to the clarity of knowing it was those lessons that positioned my feet on every future path.
I was thinking about this today after a conversation with my spouse. We have turned our entire lives upside down over the last year. We are closing out the previous chapter of our lives and stepping onto new paths that feel more aligned with our values. I’m excited and I’m nervous, but I’m not afraid.
I don’t have regret, but I did spend some time looking at previous iterations of my life to see if there were patterns that still need work. I found one.
Folks, please take the time to enjoy your life; even the chapters you hate. Have you ever considered that we can’t actually “make time?” We have to take it—by force if necessary. Maybe I am edgy after all because I’m no longer living in my head with problems I can’t solve.
Be edgy with me! There is a whole wide world of wonder waiting so let’s don our No Fear t-shirts together and get out there. After all—”LIVING is the only thing worth dying for.”
May the wisdom of misguided 90s fashion govern me forever.