What is Unconditional Love?

Letters to My Daughter Part 2

Dear Daughter,

Our last letter ended with the words “remember who shows up for you”. The reason I give this advice is complex, but I’m going to do my best to explain. I would also like to add two trigger warnings for our Wednesday posts.

We are going to talk about domestic violence and child loss. I know many folks are highly sensitive to these topics, as am I. They are also my lived experience. I think it is important for survivors to share their stories when they are ready. It is hard to articulate the healing I have experienced by sharing my story without shame.

You are beautiful, young, and in love. The time of your life you are wading through is exciting, but I’m not sure it’s possible to ever feel prepared for the challenges you face in your 20s. You finish high school, move out on your own, and you are somehow expected to know what to do with your whole life stretching out in front of you. There are somethings you really can’t understand until you experience them for yourself.

I became your mom when I was eighteen. I was a troubled teen with a dark past and the most bad news boyfriend I could find. I didn’t even really like him.

I moved out of my mom’s house in January of the year 2000. Before we move forward in the story I’d like to reiterate that this story is about me and my choices. It is not about my family. I won’t share details concerning them without their explicit consent. I love them and they love me. Our lives have been hard enough. I have no desire to cause further emotional damage.

This is why yesterday on our ride into New York City we talked about unconditional love.